What is your cooking dilemna?

[GhenghisVol]

The OM Culinary Staff is here to help. We have experts in all fields of gastronomic delight.

[volchef]

Gas or charcoal? Answer: hardwood charcoal (exception burgers which should always be pan fried)

Gas or electric? Answer: Gas, no exceptions. ever.

Salted or unsalted butter? Answer: unsalted. no exceptions. ever.

Mashed potatoes with or without skin? Answer: without. no exceptions. ever.

Should you ever buy a Publix Chicken? No. they're all tough and terrible. No exceptions. Ever. Brave walmart if you must.

Is Whole Foods a rip off? Yes. Always.

Should I buy frozen shrimp from Asia? No. No exceptions. Ever.

How do I get free food in an upscale restaurant? Send the chef the last glass of your bottle of wine. Always good for a free dessert and a nice conversation which sometimes includes a more expensive bottle of wine.

How can you be less of a dining cunt? At Christmas time buy the line cooks a round of after dinner drinks. They deserve the tip more than your waiter.


We are indeed well informed. Ghengis makes good stuff with fish sauce and clam juice. He's your seafood expert.

[GhenghisVol]

I just like to cook. If I had known 30 years ago that the new rock stars were going to be chefs??????????? I would have stayed with it. Restaurant management cost me virtually all my friends after college so I did something else.

Two comments on your list.

Agree on Asian shrimp, but Winn Dixie in Florida carries langoustines that look like a baby lobster tail and taste like a cross between a gulf shrimp and a Maine lobster. They are unbelievable, and occasionally on sale for $8lb.

Pan fried burgers are OK but I like mine charred med rare on a grill. I think they're better when they're smoked.

And wtf makes mashed potatoes with the skin on? That should be illegal. My mammy used to call them arshtaters. I knew what she was talking about because she would say "here's some arshtaters for you" and put them on my plate. I just thought she couldnt say the word mashed, but it turns out she was saying "Irish taters." I guess mashed is the only way she ever had them. haw haw She also taught me how to make pintos, cornbread, and orange koolaid. I dont really understand why anybody needs anything else.

[tebowisgay]

1. Most of the people on this board live in Tennessee. All they can buy is frozen Asian shrimp, Once a shrimp has been frozen thawed and wrung through Ghenghis famous scampi gyrations you cannot tell the difference between wild caught and farmed. If you think you can your taste buds should be in the Smithsonian.

2. Salted and unsallted butter is a matter of taste, there is no right and wrong. The difference is in the quality of butter you buy. The Danish foil wrapped butter is $4.99 for a reason. Land O' lakes, Cabot and the store brands are whey butter and therefore are crap.

[aadicof]

Lack of knowledge. I enjoy whipping out the chef's knife and coming dangerously close to losing a few digits every now and then, but I have to pick a recipe and follow it strictly. I don't know enough to be able to just go in the kitchen and throw stuff together and try to make something. If I could wing it a little more I'd prolly do it more.

[GhenghisVol]

Scampi Gyrations? Thanks Tig for the title.

I'm going to NC next week and one thing I'm going for is butter. There is a friggin convenience store in my old neighborhood that carries some off brand of butter from Wisconsin that is the best shit I have ever taste in my life. Want me to send you a care package? Wisconsin butter, D&D Sausage, Elm Hill Bologna, Vietti Chilli? hahaha

[GhenghisVol]

My knife skills are equivalent to OB's political acumen. Its something you have to learn and be trained at.

[aadicof]

Oh yeah. I have the Good Eats American Slicer episode saved on tivo. Been meanin to try that salsa recipe.

[GhenghisVol]

Salsa! Slowly I turn, step by step......

In 1995 I trademarked the Premature Death label for making salsa's and hot sauce. Got busy with the electronics boom and left it alone while that industry grew into a 5 billion dollar industry, and mine died. Stupid stupid stupid.

Premature Death Chili will kill you, so will the salsa, but its sneaky.

[volchef]

My taste buds do apparently belong in the smithsonian. Asian caught shrimp are iodine tasting and safety suspect.

Knife skills require nothing more than 2 ingredients...practice and a sharp knife. Good knives are an absolute cooking essential. Practice on carrots, onions and parsley. Carrots for quick, thorough peeling and small dice. Onions for mincing (make sure you don't use the core). Parsley for your rocking motion. Use a timer and try to beat yourself. Good knife skills can save you very valuable time.

[GhenghisVol]

Men do not have the dexterity of our female counterparts. Its funny, I can do anything physical including shooting a bball or throwing a football with both hands, but put a knife in my hand......scary, very scary.

When I started in the defense sector I told the production mgr I wanted to take the dexterity test all our operators had to pass to get hired. I failed.......9 times. I'm surprised I can jerk off without killing myself.

[humbletx]

The OM Culinary Staff is here to help. We have experts in all fields of gastronomic delight.



chaudin - just a snack or a meal?

stocks - the one thing most overlook - a quality stock - now what type of metal should your stock pot be made of

demi-glace or glace de viande?

marchand de vin - for chicken or quail?

beure blanc or beurre poivre vert?

[volchef]

There was only me and one other girl in my CIA class. We both routinely kicked male ass in skills, so you are right. However, my husband, whose fngers are so tight he cannot make the boy scout sign, does have very very good knife abilities. It truly is practice. Oh and men prefer heavier knives too. My husband is a Henckel man, while I stand firmly in the wuestoff corner.

[aadicof]

Mine are Henckel. Fuckin' sweet too.

[tebowisgay]

Neither a snack nor a meal its nasty, see haggis

anything but aluminum

depends on how thick you want it

Either although I believe Brennans did it with chicken, also popular over tuna and hard cooked eggs

Depends if you want a butter wine sauce or pepper butter

[volchef]

Neither a snack nor a meal its nasty, see haggis

anything but aluminum

depends on how thick you want it

Either although I believe Brennans did it with chicken, also popular over tuna and hard cooked eggs

Depends if you want a butter wine sauce or pepper butter

1. Correct
2. Stainless
3. Viande
4. Eggs, game foul, and beef
5. Buerre blanc aux anything you effin want

[GhenghisVol]

True. My favorite knife was one I got free from Harris Teeter in a set because I was their one millionth (is that spelled right?) VIC card customer. When the girl told me I had won a set of knives I jumped up and screamed like George Costanza "I'm VICkin my balls off over here!" Some were amused, some were not. hahaha

Its a heavy 14" chef's knive and I can peel a redwood tree with the thing.

[volchef]

True. My favorite knife was one I got free from Harris Teeter in a set because I was their one millionth (is that spelled right?) VIC card customer. When the girl told me I had won a set of knives I jumped up and screamed like George Costanza "I'm VICkin my balls off over here!" Some were amused, some were not. hahaha

Its a heavy 14" chef's knive and I can peel a redwood tree with the thing.

Hahaha! I've always thought the name Harris Teeter was pornographic. Now I know why.

At school they gave us the hardest steel most worthless piece of shit knives. We called them F. Dicks. My parents gave me my wuestoff set as a gift and I still guard them, only beneath my children, as of value to me. :)

[VolFrannie]

Try the Shrimp Dock if you think all you can get in Tennessee is frozen shrimp.

[volchef]

Scampi Gyrations? Thanks Tig for the title.

I'm going to NC next week and one thing I'm going for is butter. There is a friggin convenience store in my old neighborhood that carries some off brand of butter from Wisconsin that is the best shit I have ever taste in my life. Want me to send you a care package? Wisconsin butter, D&D Sausage, Elm Hill Bologna, Vietti Chilli? hahaha

Mmmm. Good butter. Now that's a thread idea!